I'm sick of the lifestyle I live. I'm sick of worrying of what I will eat tomorrow what I will eat now and what I will eat later. Every day seems to not go by fast enough. I want everyday to go and leave I'm tired of the agony and hunger. But I can't seem to get better. I cant live like this but I cant stop. Im so afraid of not being perfect. I am broken so broken.

My life as you know it

I haven't written In a while, but I'm going to start now. Maybe since i cant bring myself to go to therapy i would write about them maybe that will make me feel better about my life. I guess besides being a single young mother I have more struggles which take part of my whole day. Its like a burden that i wish i could bury a thousand feet underground. My struggle with food is killing me. Its killing my path to success. Its killing my brain cells because thats all i ever think of. There is nothing more important than gaining or losing weight. I'm just afraid I wont ever over come this. Starving hurts but hunger works.. I can't go shopping I cant go into a supermarket without feeling like the food is haunting me. When i look into the mirror I see a monster staring back at me.