Struggle

I almost have forgotten the agony my body image puts me through every single day since I could remember. All my life I've been in and out of diets, I'm convinced it has harmed my brain cells. I envy people that are just okay with there weight. They eat care free without no worries, I wish I could do the same, but I cant. Every bite I take i record in my mind, and every time I am done I ask myself why? I just want to be happy with myself, and its never going happen unless I loose weight.